Recap: Palin-Biden Debate

Blurgs, Hairless Man-Apes!

Is Ookla, here give post-debate analysis in answer viewer question. Ookla watch whole debate, except last fifteen minutes which only listened. Had to go in other room of cave, just have audio only. Was too painful.

First, found eyes of Joe Biden distracting, have work done and look like Gemini. You see side-by-side? You see. Yes.

Now, you friend Ookla no can stand Gemini. One too many close calls with Thundarr. But think Biden won debate. No can see how even big-forehead man Paul Begala say lady "accomplished goals." Is whole world upside down like after runaway comet?

Biden big, walking blowhard, yet she no call him on any him things -- also, she supposedly big moose hunter. Where she gun? Current vice president at least shoot man in face. Ookla have high hopes he get see this time, but no gun, no sword, not even punchy-punch.

Ookla think it just 'cause Palin attractive to puny men. They all so blowdried and made-up now, they act like sissies when see real man -- even if is woman. Palin all talkie-talk. What happen to lady from convention? Think old man who no can lift Sun Sword over head fill her head with all word-words. Where was call for blood of enemies, Ookla ask as example.

Talkie young Obama complain McCain no mention "middle-class" in debate, so he lose. Now, Ookla not understand, because he only know few words to speak and yet SURE he win any debate.

Anyway, Ookla take up challenge. No hear following words in debate: entrails, flay, sever, decapitate, brains, murder, destroy, vengeance, pound, burn, castrate -- or even good old fashioned bluuuuuuuuuuurgh!

Biden way ahead on points, but then even he blow at last minute, get all weepy-weepy. That must is why he no take going bald like man, get fur-plugs, cap teeth. Bluuuuuuurgh! Ookla know this not sit well with metrosexual crowd, but not CARE to see man cry -- or woman. Mok not even have tear ducts. Well, take that back: have, but in ceremony week after birth, moile burns out. Yes, moile. Done at same time as circumcision.

Moks all Jewish, why you surprised? Oh, Ookla not look Jewish? That not right. Sammy Davis Jr. not look Jewish, either.

By the way, Ookla not get ONE Rosh Hashanna card.

Blurgs,
OTM

Ookla Debate #1 Recap

Blurgs, pathetic-muscled humans.

Is Ookla, you favorite pundit-Mok.

Just watched debate, and take notes (mostly X's) on wall -- carved into wall with claws. All so mushy-mush. Kickpushed seven televisions out window while watching. Did mostly because no can stand browny-brown hair man Jim Lehrer.

Look, you know and Ookla know truth: Lehrer not amount to dragon turd without MacNeil. MacNeil carry whole show for years; now Gwen Ifill carry Lehrer.

And tell you something else: Lehrer no fool nobody with super-brown dyed hair. All fakey-fake. Plus, face puffy, look no like man. Look more like Alice from Brady Bunch.

Anyway, debate was stupid. That bottom line. Hear all spinny-spin after.

McCain at least no look so whitey-white in skin. Know he have spell of age or something on him, but seem better tonight. Look only in mid-90's, ha ha. Obama, all stumble-stumble, so that not good for him. Ookla admit he find self missing Ross Perot. Little man always funny -- and look tasty, be able to devour all in one bite.

Also, Perot have folksy metaphors, "Get under hood, fix car, make go vroom," and like. No get that tonight. Get some yappy and challenging.

Ookla angry not see any blood. Not one drop! So angry, but can't threaten or Secret Service hassle Ookla.

Bottom line is still same: Ookla not vote for either man. Ookla vote for Thundarr. Not even care that Thundarr no polling above 1%, going to "throw vote away."

You want Mok answer to terrorism? Ookla tell you. Go into every country that look at you crossways, and smash things down to tiny pieces size of gooseberries. Smash, smash, kill, kill, kill. That Ookla answer.

Oh, and torture? Boohoo! No let anyone tell you torture no work. Ookla tell you from experience, you want intelligence, you do this way: bite one finger off at time. Tell you one thing, never need get to second thumb and man start singing like Tammy Wynette.

Ookla watch more coverage now. Already angry at stupid talkie-talkers, but still watch, better to report back you loyal reader.

OTM