Recap: Palin-Biden Debate

Blurgs, Hairless Man-Apes!

Is Ookla, here give post-debate analysis in answer viewer question. Ookla watch whole debate, except last fifteen minutes which only listened. Had to go in other room of cave, just have audio only. Was too painful.

First, found eyes of Joe Biden distracting, have work done and look like Gemini. You see side-by-side? You see. Yes.

Now, you friend Ookla no can stand Gemini. One too many close calls with Thundarr. But think Biden won debate. No can see how even big-forehead man Paul Begala say lady "accomplished goals." Is whole world upside down like after runaway comet?

Biden big, walking blowhard, yet she no call him on any him things -- also, she supposedly big moose hunter. Where she gun? Current vice president at least shoot man in face. Ookla have high hopes he get see this time, but no gun, no sword, not even punchy-punch.

Ookla think it just 'cause Palin attractive to puny men. They all so blowdried and made-up now, they act like sissies when see real man -- even if is woman. Palin all talkie-talk. What happen to lady from convention? Think old man who no can lift Sun Sword over head fill her head with all word-words. Where was call for blood of enemies, Ookla ask as example.

Talkie young Obama complain McCain no mention "middle-class" in debate, so he lose. Now, Ookla not understand, because he only know few words to speak and yet SURE he win any debate.

Anyway, Ookla take up challenge. No hear following words in debate: entrails, flay, sever, decapitate, brains, murder, destroy, vengeance, pound, burn, castrate -- or even good old fashioned bluuuuuuuuuuurgh!

Biden way ahead on points, but then even he blow at last minute, get all weepy-weepy. That must is why he no take going bald like man, get fur-plugs, cap teeth. Bluuuuuuurgh! Ookla know this not sit well with metrosexual crowd, but not CARE to see man cry -- or woman. Mok not even have tear ducts. Well, take that back: have, but in ceremony week after birth, moile burns out. Yes, moile. Done at same time as circumcision.

Moks all Jewish, why you surprised? Oh, Ookla not look Jewish? That not right. Sammy Davis Jr. not look Jewish, either.

By the way, Ookla not get ONE Rosh Hashanna card.

Blurgs,
OTM

Ookla Debate #1 Recap

Blurgs, pathetic-muscled humans.

Is Ookla, you favorite pundit-Mok.

Just watched debate, and take notes (mostly X's) on wall -- carved into wall with claws. All so mushy-mush. Kickpushed seven televisions out window while watching. Did mostly because no can stand browny-brown hair man Jim Lehrer.

Look, you know and Ookla know truth: Lehrer not amount to dragon turd without MacNeil. MacNeil carry whole show for years; now Gwen Ifill carry Lehrer.

And tell you something else: Lehrer no fool nobody with super-brown dyed hair. All fakey-fake. Plus, face puffy, look no like man. Look more like Alice from Brady Bunch.

Anyway, debate was stupid. That bottom line. Hear all spinny-spin after.

McCain at least no look so whitey-white in skin. Know he have spell of age or something on him, but seem better tonight. Look only in mid-90's, ha ha. Obama, all stumble-stumble, so that not good for him. Ookla admit he find self missing Ross Perot. Little man always funny -- and look tasty, be able to devour all in one bite.

Also, Perot have folksy metaphors, "Get under hood, fix car, make go vroom," and like. No get that tonight. Get some yappy and challenging.

Ookla angry not see any blood. Not one drop! So angry, but can't threaten or Secret Service hassle Ookla.

Bottom line is still same: Ookla not vote for either man. Ookla vote for Thundarr. Not even care that Thundarr no polling above 1%, going to "throw vote away."

You want Mok answer to terrorism? Ookla tell you. Go into every country that look at you crossways, and smash things down to tiny pieces size of gooseberries. Smash, smash, kill, kill, kill. That Ookla answer.

Oh, and torture? Boohoo! No let anyone tell you torture no work. Ookla tell you from experience, you want intelligence, you do this way: bite one finger off at time. Tell you one thing, never need get to second thumb and man start singing like Tammy Wynette.

Ookla watch more coverage now. Already angry at stupid talkie-talkers, but still watch, better to report back you loyal reader.

OTM

What Wear to Debate?

Ookla,

Tonight, I have to speak in a very important debate tonight. What suit & tie combo would you recommend?

Sincerely,

AAG Jr.

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Blurgs AAG Jr.,

First, you repeat self, say, "tonight...tonight." That stupid. No do in debate, okay?

Okay.

As for clothes, you look Ookla, okay? What you see? Only wear loin cloth, that right. Less mean more, you hear that expression? Well, it stupid, yes. Someone try give Ookla half yak for dinner and tell is more than full yak, Ookla take balance of meat out of he ass. But kind of true this way: You wear less clothes, show off more body, and voters follow. You no wear stupid piece of cloth around neck. Come out in no more clothes than Thundarr, and you be winner -- unless you all flabby-flab in first place. Then you deserve lose.

OTM

Ookla Hear Comment on Debate...

"Crypt Keeper is doing pretty well."

Why No Thundarr Movie?

Dear Ookla,

I always hear that there's a Thundarr movie in the works, but then the buzz fades away? What gives? Is Princess Ariel holding out for more money?

Your in Loving Sorcery,
The Evil Wizard Uncle Sabian.

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Blurgs Uncle,

You question Ookla hear often, so tired of hearing he swear gnaw lips off next man what ask. Since you ask over email, though, you safe -- and Ookla tell.

Ariel into role -- willing take any role, to tell you truth. She put on real weight after show end, go into downward spiral like Grace Lee Whitney. Do some soft core breathy-breathy films. You find on YouTube.

Thundarr own all original rights is problem, and not want let anyone else play role -- but he all tubby too. No longer "lift Sun Sword" so easily, if you know what Mok mean.

But Ookla, he always game for movie. Suggest pilot, swear can carry whole show -- not like baby-hand sissy Ohio-boy in R*A*D*A*R -- but networks execs no bite. Maybe that 'cause Ookla bite them first. Not know. Hollywood types all gabby-gabby. No can trust.

Hope this answer you question, and thank you writing Ookla.

OTM

How Crisis Compare to Runaway Moon?

Dear Ookla,
How does this financial crisis compare to the crisis in 1994, when a runaway planet hurtled between the Earth and the Moon, unleashing cosmic destruction?
Sincerely,
Gemini the Evil Wizard

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Blurgs GEW,

See you put on all nicey-nicey face for you ask question, not angry face what sound like low-rent Fred Flintstone -- later seasons, too, with stupid Gazoo. Jump shark, and no cool shark with laser beams on head.

Stupid two-faced Gemini never be nobody without runaway planet, probably be car salesman -- ha ha. They two-faced, too.

Ookla no like Gemini, since can no even Blurgh when Gemini around. Not know why. Must be magic.

Run away planet clearly caused by Wonder Woman she Invisible Jet. Sound same. Ookla watch opening credits many time.

Wall Street flooded after calamity, and man stupid weak society cast in ruin. This crisis not nothing compare that, despite what Al Gore say all worry floody-flood. Not that Mok like water, but also not think doughy beard shouty-man can to fix. Him not even wizard.

Anyway, Gemini, maybe you come over Ookla cave we talk more -- ha ha. You come alone, no weapons, just to talk. You try? Good. Hope you enjoy feel of Sun Sword enema.

Yours Blurghly,
OTM

What Do About Financial Crisis?

Ookla,

As financial institutions prepare for a more challenging funding environment, in part by conserving capital, and as they anticipate the higher potential losses that would normally accompany an economic slowdown, will their response, in aggregate, make markets and the economy potentially more vulnerable to that adverse outcome?

Just wondering,

Princess Ariel

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Blurgs Princess,

You question not-so stupid, like mostly woman. Ookla lose interest after "funding," but still raise interesting point, and Ookla no cut you off with Moking like Bob Grant or Jay Diamond.

Answer always is growth -- and punching. Lots punching. Ookla live long time, and never yet find crisis no could punch way out of. When you down, keep punching. You come out okay in end. You see.

Hope this you help.

OTM